So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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