i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize