Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
it's like iHOP with fire
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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