what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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