she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
