yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
