its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
