highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
