just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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