I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize
