You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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