I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
