it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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