No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
