You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
When are your genitals available?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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