Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
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