It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
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we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
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