That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
