It's like a parade of train wrecks.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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