I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Randomize
