I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
if only i could text you this smell
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
