he puts the penis in happiness.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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