We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
