I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
