Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
