i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize