okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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