Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
