When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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