just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
