i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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