i was born a porn star she said
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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