yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
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Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
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You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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