i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i jhust puked up my retainher.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
