You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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