Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
