You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize