Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
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I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
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Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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