for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Houston, we have a squirter
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
