Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
