office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You need a sexual gate keeper
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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