i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
