so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
