Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
