Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
worst night to have a conscience
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
