How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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