if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Is it because I queefed?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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