Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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