He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
