Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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