i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I did not marry a roomba.
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