I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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