It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
