i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
