i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Found your dick twin last night
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Randomize
