just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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