I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
