But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
