We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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