she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
