dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
