I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize